Day 94

Pressure. I think I’ve found the cause of all my failures. This project has tossed and turned me in and around myself and asked many things of me. It is my project. I can do as much or as little as I please. I could stop.

I have got close to the end, and with an end comes a finale, of course. With an end comes a cheerio and a one last knees up for the road.

What happens if I haven’t got time for a finale, because the days of the finale are just like those of before and after and in between, because life is days upon days.

I want a week of gems. I want to surprise myself again and again. But what I am noticing, is less my excitement, and more a lack of enthusiasm. Life is busy and what we expect of ourselves and others sometimes exceeds capabilities, but many of us have gone past the point of realising. This is why heart attacks and mental health issues are so common.

Challenges are good, but we shouldn’t be completing with ourselves. I need to stop, and think, and realise. I hope I will have a chance to do that before next Tuesday.

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